Today, I was listening to a podcast while I walked and I heard this phrase, “What do you hear when you pray” and it stopped me dead in my tracks! Literally!
There was an elderly man walking behind me who I see all the time and he said, “Young lady, are you okay?” I said, “Yes sir! I am so sorry if I startled you. You know when you hear something and it stops you dead in your tracks? That’s what happened, sir! Have a great day!”
He looked at me very confused and I’m still not sure if he heard me, but I had to tell him. I had to tell somebody in that moment that something so powerful stopped me dead in my tracks.
Moving on…LITERALLY I kept walking and I had to stop the podcast I was listening to and think about what I heard. I had to completely clear my mind and truly think about what I hear when I pray. My first thought was, is this God’s way of speaking to me? Did He just use this woman talking about cosmetics to really get me thinking about what I hear when I pray?
I think so. I truly think so. Keep in mind, I was only about .3 miles into my walk when I heard this and I had loads of time to think and ponder on this. I whipped out my phone and I began typing everything I hear when I pray and what I wrote is exactly what you are about to read.
What do I hear when I pray? Well for starters, I hear Jesus in the voice of an old man and that’s the truth. I don’t think Jesus smoked, but he kind of has a smoker’s voice? When you pray, do you close your eyes? I typically close my eyes, but I always wondered how others preferred to pray.
I would say my prayers are more like conversations with God. I talk to him like he is my friend. I do not hold back and neither does He!
I will be honest, it took me time to really hear something when I pray. When I was younger, I was taught to pray. I prayed before meals with my family at the dinner table and I prayed when I woke up in the morning and before I went to bed at night. Sometimes I would pray during the day if I felt the calling on my heart, but it wasn’t until I was about 25 years old that I actually heard God’s voice for the first time.
Now when I pray, I hear God so clearly.
Before, words would come to my mind and I would get this feeling in my heart that I couldn’t explain, but now I know that was God. That was Him speaking to me.
It’s to no ones surprise that I have taken a pivot in my life. To say the pivot has been easy would be a lie. So, I have had to really clear my heart and mind to the fullest and allow God to take full control of my life. This is hard to do.
I have heard God say things to me like, “Jessica, you know you have no control over this, right? The only thing you have control over is giving all of your worries to me.” “Humans. You are dealing with humans. You are dealing with humans who I made and created. So how am I not in control of this? You know I will take care of you. Haven’t I always taken care of you? Give all of your worries and troubles to me.”
You know what else I hear when I pray? I hear my own thoughts. I hear myself calling on God when I need Him, but also remembering to thank Him. Aside from the chaos and mess that I thought would swallow me whole, He blessed me. He gave me this life. He chose me for this task. He chose me for this life and all of the times I begged and pleaded on my hands and knees for Him to take all of the hard away, He trusted me. He trusted ME to make it through and be an example.
I won’t fail Him. I know my mission in life is to help people and be an example of making it through the hard.
I have told God, “I’m doing the best I can, Lord. I am trying harder than I ever have in life and it just doesn’t seem to be good enough and do you know what He told me? He said, “It’s because you are trying to please everyone but me. You are trying to satisfy earthly beings which is steering you away from the path I have prepared you for every day of your life.” He said, “The moment you find your way back to the path I laid out for you, you will feel peace. You will find peace. You will, Jessica.”
So where am I physically at right now? Walking. I’m walking on a walking PATH (literally) Irony? I don’t think so. I think this was God’s way of showing me I’m on His path. I think He knew I have been fighting for SO long and have never given up. I think He knows I have been screaming how I feel and feeling as if I am in a room all by myself where no one can hear me. I know believing is not seeing when it comes to God, but something in me is telling me He wanted me to make the parallel. He wanted me to see.
This was my confirmation. This was my moment where I felt the shift. This was the moment I gave it all to Him, raised my hands and said, “Take it. Take it all unlike you ever have before.”
So my question for you is, what do you hear when you pray?