A Letter To A Person I Have Chosen To Forgive

This one is for you, the person I have chosen to forgive.

Forgiveness. I think this is something we have all experienced in both forgiving and being forgiven. I’m sure when you read the words, “I forgive you” there is a person (people) you have in mind that you feel this may be written for.

While writing this, I have people in mind who I would love to hand write these exact words to, so I am just going to take the liberty of sharing this with all of you who may feel this way too.


It is bold and courageous. We are human with human feelings and thoughts. We are often persuaded by the world to hold grudges and seek vengeance.

Ask yourself this…How do you feel when you do not forgive? Do you feel relieved or do you feel a sense of sadness? I think in certain situations you may feel differently, I know I do, but I will say my conscious speaks entirely too loud for me to ignore what it is saying.

“Jessica, you need to get over it and just freaking forgive.” I have heard this over and over and over and do you know what? My conscious is right because I ask myself, what am I gaining from holding onto anger?

Does it make me feel better? No. Do I feel a weight on my chest and like I have unfinished business? Absolutely.

You see, forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook. It isn’t about allowing people to continually hurt you. It is about you taking control of the situation and recognizing that someone else’s actions, choices and words are not your actions, choices and words.

Want to know a secret? Forgiveness has absolutely nothing to do with the other person. It has everything to do with YOU. One more time! Forgiveness says more about you than the other person. If your goal is to feel happiness and feel free of a person and their actions, forgive them.

It’s sort of like an oxymoron, right? Trust me, it took my 27 years to understand this concept. It took me 27 years to put it in motion in my own life. Please learn from me. If you take away anything from me, ever please take away this statement.


Many times I forgave only to walk away with a fear of reoccurring actions. This is a time I will pull the, “I’m human” card.

We often have low expectations from previous experiences and moments of disappointment. Don’t you agree? If we TRULY forgive, the past must remain in the past in order to TRULY move forward.

We all have those people in our lives who make situations difficult and seem to constantly bring havoc into our lives. Am I right?

I want you to do this right now. Close your eyes and imagine this person. Imagine you are face to face with this person and tell them, “I forgive you.”

How do you feel? Better? I know I do. Do this for each person in your life you need to forgive. Eventually, you may be able to bring yourself to forgive this person face to face or be satisfied with your own personal intention.

Forgiveness is powerful. In my opinion, forgiveness can solve most, if not all, problems in this world. Do not be a statistic. Do not allow another person to define your future.

In case no one has told you lately, you are in control of your happiness. Yes, you and only you.

I hope you all feel a sense of relief knowing that everyone has someone in their life they need forgive, just as everyone has something to be forgiven for. Make today THE DAY you take control of your life. If you needed a sign…consider this it.

So to the people I have chosen to forgive, I have never felt more free to say the words, “I forgive you.”

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