The good ole unfair hand…we have all been here in some capacity. In good news, when we are dealt an unfair hand, we do have a choice on the significance it will play in our life.
This topic is near and dear to my heart for many reasons. Being on the greener side of a season that has forever changed me as a person, I see where I was and where I am now and how I’ve drastically changed.
I see the moments that swallowed me whole and when I triumphed like a champion. Personally, I don’t believe we ever get this “right” because what does that even look like? We all have different emotions and we all navigate things differently depending on the circumstance.
When life deals us an unfair hand, depending on the severity, we often get served with a side of grief. Grief is unpredictable and I would even describe it as haunting. It is mysterious and we all grieve differently, so I’m telling you early on that there is NO PROPER WAY to grieve.
I will say this for myself first and then you who is reading this. From my own personal awakening, I realized that I was VERY far down the rabbit hole and a hop, skip and jump away from Wonderland. I allowed the hand I was dealt to define me in EVERY possible way and I have never seen this more clearly than now.
Am I fully out of the woods? I don’t think that It’s possible to ever be fully freed, I’m not going to lie, BUT at some point you make the decision to no longer let it define you and become your story.
What I realized was that I was THE only person who could climb my way out of hole I was in. I was waiting for someone to come riding in on a unicorn with a deed declaring I had been dealt an unfair hand deeming my life unfair and THAT was just NOT going to happen. Looking back now, WHY would I want that any way?
What would that have done for me? Not a damn thing. I CAN’T change my life. I can’t change the grief and trauma I’ve been through. I can’t change the fact that I spent the first three weeks of my life on my own. I can’t change the fact that my body never fully recovered from this traumatic experience. I can’t change the fact that every moment of me growing older brought on this unfathomable realization of what happened to me as a baby.
So what was I going to do? Let this define me for the REST of my life? Continue blame everything on this? Take out my pain on the people I love? Make THIS my one and only story? HELL NO!
Some of you who read this may be in pain as you are scrolling through this. You may have never DEALT with or acknowledged the trauma you’ve been through. You may be waiting for someone to come knock at your door or ride in on a unicorn deeming your life unfair, but that WILL NOT HAPPEN and WHY would you want that anyway?
Are you pushing away people who TRULY love you because you are in unexplainable pain? Are you blaming people and making them suffer because you do not want to acknowledge that you need help? Are you afraid of getting help because you are afraid of who you are capable of becoming?
Are you going to let your unfair hand be YOUR STORY? Are you going to let it define you for the rest of your life OR will gather all the dirt thrown your way and plant a life you are proud of because baby, your story is TOO GREAT. You are too great.
I wish someone would have told me this a few years ago. I didn’t know then what I know now and to be honest, I think I had to go through it to grow through it and you do too.
So, what are you going to choose when life deals you an unfair hand? I am here to share that with every moment I questioned my significance and existence, was all for this time in my life RIGHT NOW! Why?