To my future child, I hope you know how much work I am putting in now to be my best for you. I’m thinking about the day that you and I sit here and read this together and I tell you all about this time in my life.
Now when I say I am going to be my best for you, please don’t think that means perfect. Perfect isn’t a word we use or live by.
You may be wondering why I wrote this for you so far in advance, but I want you to know just how long I’ve been thinking about you, who you are, who you will become and my role as your mom.
I’ve had so much time to think about this and I’ve learned so many things over the years leading up to you. I’ve waited for you for so long and there are many things I want you to know that I’m thinking about now.
I want to come straight out of the gate saying that I know I will mess up, but I promise to always make it up to you the best way I can. The words “I’m sorry” will be used often in our house and I will always apologize in those moments when I get it wrong.
Please don’t ever be afraid to tell me when I hurt or disappoint you. I will make mistakes, but I promise to always put in the work to learn from each one. In order for me to be my best for you, I have to know when I get it wrong and I know I will.
My job as your mom will be my most important role. Nothing (and I mean absolutely nothing) will ever come before you. When I’m forced to choose, know that it will always be you.
Every moment with you is the most important on my timeline. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my very best days will be spent swinging you on a swing set, rocking you to sleep and laughing with you when I spill pancake mix all over the floor (in case you don’t already know, your mom is a certified KLUTZ)!
I want our house to be filled with laughter and joy, but speaking realistically, I know we will go through hard times. I know as I’m typing this now I’m thinking about everything I’m leaving out and the moments that may arise. I promise we will get through those moments together no matter how hard they are.
My biggest worry is that I will not meet your needs and be the mom I’m envisioning I will be to you.
I think this is any moms worry. Please know in those moments when you are in need, my needs will take a backseat. I always want you to feel comfortable to tell me what you need from me, even when it may not be as easy as the type of cereal you want to eat for breakfast.
Your mom has expert experience being a child in need. Please know I will drop anything to listen to your needs and fulfill them to the very best of my ability.
I know the old way of thinking was that the parent teaches the child, but the way of thinking in our house won’t be this way. I know there will be moments where I learn my most valuable lessons in life from you and you from me.
I know you will teach me so much about life, happiness, love and myself. I am looking forward to the days when I can say this to you, “Wow! I’m awestruck by what you just taught me.” I know there will be moments as you grow older that you may prove me wrong or teach me a different perspective on life and I can’t wait to learn from your wisdom.
Something tells me you will be quite the creator filled with so much wisdom and imagination. You’ll have more fun playing outdoors than anywhere else and I have a feeling you will be quite the hugger.
I have dreams about you often. I think about the days when we are driving in the car and I look in the rear view mirror and see you in your carseat. I think about the years I will spend looking at you in the rear view mirror and how quickly you will grow.
The moment I can’t wait for is when we lock eyes and just smile. My heart is skipping a beat thinking about that moment now.
I know I am writing this with the mindset that you are a young child (maybe 7 or 8), but one day you will read this as an adult and I’m thinking about you at that age too.
There will come a time when I get to watch the fruit of my labor, you, go off into the world and I will take the backseat. Then, you will become the driver looking at me in the rear view mirror…I hope you smile when we lock eyes. I hope the love you feel for me makes your heart skip a beat.
I hope you always know I’m in your corner. I hope you know I will always be there for you at any cost. Eventually, I will be a phone call away, but I’d hop on any plane or drive hours and miles to make you your favorite meal after a rough week or sit with you in the quiet after your first major breakup.
When you call, know I’ll be there even when you can’t catch your breath to ask.
Through my heartache I’ve learned so much and I’d go through it over and over again if it means I will be the very best mom to you. I’ve spent much of my life waiting and waiting and waiting for so many things, but I think you will be my greatest journey of all.
I hope you know my love for you started long before you were you. Please know how much you are loved and wanted and how truly proud i am to be your mom. It’s me, you, and many trips to Disney World, Kid!