What if we change the perspective? What if we begin fighting for our own presence in our lives rather than fighting for the attention of others?
I wonder how we can change and shift the perspective of others? Would it be more desirable for others to care about us if we focus more on us? That answer is to be determined, but I have a strong feeling the answer is leaning more towards yes.
I always wondered how I would feel if I channeled all of the energy I put into caring about other’s presence in my life and directed it to myself. In other words, what if I used all of this energy I feel towards others and actually use it to show up for myself?
I asked myself some questions like, “Have you shown up for you, Jessica?” “How can you show up MORE for you than what you are?” “Where do you feel you can improve?” So many questions in so few sentences, right?
I’m sure you’ve made it to this point and might be wondering if you are actually present for yourself. You may also be thinking that if YOU show up more for YOU, you may not rely so much on others showing up for you. Through my experiences, I have grown to realize that both of these have to be in balance with one another in order for you to feel balanced.
I know that some of you may be reading this and may have small children. You may wish that certain people in your life showed up for them the way you hoped.
I can imagine that is so tough and likely hurts your heart and I’m so sorry.
I think about the child I pray to have one day. If I were a mother, I undoubtedly know I would feel the same pain. I empathize because I am the kid in this situation. I know how much it hurts me, but please know that giving up is not the solution. The greatest example you can show your children is to point out and acknowledge those who do show up for them. You can teach them that showing up for themselves will be the greatest gift they can give themselves.
Please. Teach them young.
How wonderful would be it be if you become your child’s example of how they can show up for themselves? How wonderful would it be for YOU to finally do yourself the service of showing up for yourself! You may have made it this far and may still be wondering ways that you can show up for yourself.
You can start by making yourself a priority, regardless if you have little ones or not. Creating time for you to do things that you love is a great and easy place to start. Taking time to shut off social media and make time for you can be a breath of fresh air. Did you ever stop and think about what turning off social media for an hour can do for you?
I mean…Instagram crashed last week…what did you do with your life during that time?
Doing things for yourself like going for a walk or a run, prioritizing your health and feeding your brain with enriching content is the recipe for showing up for you. Showing up does not always have to be a physical action. It can be waking up an hour early to sit in silence, meditate and pray.
Wouldn’t it be cool if there were a growth chart, you know the kind where you mark up your children’s height in the doorframe of their closet, BUT what if it would measure our GROWTH as a person? It would act as a visual timeline of dates and ages where we saw significant growth in ourselves, simply by choosing to show up for ourselves?
We need to break a few stigmas that those before us put into place. In summary, it is OKAY for you to put in time for yourself. You are not selfish for skipping out on something in order to show up for you. Most importantly, I’m here to tell you that people will NOT show up the way you envision. They just won’t and I had to learn this the hard way.
Put the expectation aside, please. Learn from me.
Please DO NOT view this as a free pass for others to hurt you and trample over your heart, but freedom for YOU to do yourself the favor of being present in YOUR life.