“Look at all that you have,” someone once told me this and I nearly spit out my water.
Look at all that I have? Do you even understand how HARD I had to work to get here? Do you even understand how hard I WORK RIGHT NOW?
Lucky? My definition of luck is totally different. To me, luck is something that comes unexpectedly. It’s a win at the lottery or a slot machine. This is what Webster says luck means, “Success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions.”
“Rather than through one’s own actions.” Well, clearly I’m not lucky. My way of getting here took more actions than I could write in this blog post! Honestly, you’d be here forever if I told you all the things I had to do to get here. You’d be here forever if I told you all the things I had to do to get to this blog post. I just worked really damn hard to get here.
I’d say it’s equivalent to climbing a mountain, but sometimes I think that may have been easier.
I had to do so much work. The work that I am talking about goes beyond my passion, beyond a blog post or podcast episode…I had to put so much work into myself. This all started with figuring out who I was. I genuinely believe that takes will power. I truly believe putting in the work to figure out who you are is truly a choice. It was my choice and it is also your choice to figure out who you are and put in the work.
Fun fact, you don’t stumble upon yourself just as easily as you would finding a penny on the ground of a parking lot. Finding out who you are and WANTING to see what the TRUE you is like takes some true genuine self-reflection. It forces you to go to places you may not want to and acknowledge where you are now versus where you want to go or know you are capable of going.
It forces you to ask yourself things like, “Am I truly happy?” “What will it take for me to get there?” “What can I do to be happy and what changes do I need to make to get me to where I know I am capable of?”
I’m not lucky because I asked myself these hard questions.
I am not lucky because I wanted to feel better about myself and figure out who I was. I am not lucky because I knew I was capable of being great. I’m not lucky because I told the mediocre version of myself to SEE YOU LATER!
It would have been easy to use my past as an excuse and settle for less. It would have taken less out of me to just say, “I’m giving into the statistics of kids like me. I will just use my pain, hurt, and confusion as a crutch for the rest of my life. The reality is that I didn’t. I refused and THAT took some hard work.
Do you see how the grit that came from doing those hard things set me up for where I am now? This doesn’t make me lucky, it makes me a badass, go getting woman!
I know when people say, “You are so lucky,” it is suppose to make me feel “bad” for those who are not where I am.
It’s suppose to make me think less of myself, be humble and count my blessings and the truth is that I have never been MORE proud of the work I have done to get here. Humble? An antonym for humble is proud and I surely am proud of myself! I have never thought more of myself in my entire life and that makes every mountain and valley that I have crawled through WORTH IT. The blessings I am counting are the number of nights I went to bed praying for God to give me the strength to be the girl I am now.
8,213 blessings. 8,213 nights have been spent praying to be where I am now. So, I’m not lucky, I worked really damn hard to get here.