It’s so late.
I have a big girl job, but I’m up late working on my dream- a dream I didn’t have at 18 years old which makes this intro very fitting.
Yep, you stay up late Jess because you have so many goals and dreams and despite what anyone will tell you, you CAN achieve them all and you will. You will achieve more in the next ten years than you ever thought you were capable of and do you know what? You are JUST getting started!
Baby, you’re just 18 and fresh out of high school. You have the whole entire world in front of you. Currently you are sitting in your car after a late night run to Starbucks because you will find out that espresso will get you through the days and give you that boost of energy you need to push through and make those dreams happen. Fun fact, you will fall madly in love with coffee and it will get you through the next ten years of your life. While sitting in your car with the car running listening to Cardi B (she will be BIG girl) you’ll be thinking back to this time in your life when cheer practice was your biggest worry in life- reminding yourself that you have come SO. FREAKING. FAR.
Anyways, enough of the jargon. It’s time to get to the good stuff- the stuff the people want to read. Something you will learn is that what people want to read is totally different from what the people around you may be telling you and you know what?
You are going to give the people what they want to read, need to hear and be someone they can relate to.
You will be told things like, “Your words brought me peace” and “I read your post and it was exactly what I needed to hear.” People will come up to you in the store and pour their hearts out while you’re trying to pick out watermelon for crying out loud!
You never expected this or anticipated this path, but your purpose is so much greater than what you believe.
Jess, I know right now you are just 18 years old. You have every goal and dream of teaching a class full of kindergarteners. You dream in Crayola and can’t wait for the day you get to wear cute teacher outfits and a lanyard that is the perfect Vera Bradley print to match your cute classroom aesthetic. Want to know a secret? Your goal of teaching will evolve into something you didn’t anticipate. It will evolve from teaching a small classroom to helping any and everyone who find your little space on the internet.
You will learn that who you think you will become is actually just a dimmed down version of the woman you are truly meant to be.
You know better than anyone that you have struggled. You have struggled in silence every day of your life. Either everyone around you didn’t hear you or maybe they just didn’t notice. Maybe it was just too painful to acknowledge where your pain was stemming from and it was just easier for everyone to ignore it. Regardless, your biggest dream feels so far away. It feels unreachable. You have no idea on this planet how you will find the one person on this Earth that you have longed for, for as long as you can remember.
I know you are so scared. I know your biggest fear is that you won’t find the one person you need above anyone else. You are scared the people around you won’t understand why you have to do this for yourself. You are scared they won’t support or help you. You have no one who can relate to you and feeling like you will walk alone through this is far scarier than anything you can imagine. I just want to be honest and tell you that your fears will come true. You will hurt, cry, plead for understanding, beg, pray and do everything by possible, but do you want to know another secret? Your biggest dream will come true. You will find the one person you have dreamed of your entire life.
Absolutely everything will NOT go as you planned. This vision you have in your mind of everything going exactly the way you want it…let it go. Just do what Elsa (you don’t know her yet) but just let it freaking GO!
Jess, you will find your mom. You will find her and she will be everything and more that you ever dreamed of and thought that you deserved. She will love you unlike anyone else in your life and you will finally feel complete. The emptiness, pain and confusion will go away the moment she wraps her arms around you.
As far as those fears, they will teach you more than a classroom or textbook ever will. My biggest advice to you is to face them head on. Your fears will teach you that the one voice you should never ignore is your heart. What you hear in your heart is real and true. If you follow it…it will not steer you wrong.
Ten years from now Jess, you will look back and see just how far you’ve come. I wish I can tell you, but I wouldn’t want to spoil the journey. You will grow a business from just an idea. You will fall madly, truly deeply in love with writing and realize that those thoughts you have in your head are better shared with others than kept to yourself. You will realize that supporting the people you love is what we are put on this Earth to do and it will become your life mission to be there for those who bring you positive energy. Most importantly, you will do everything you can to be an example of unconditional love.
You will do things you have wanted to do since you were little, never forgetting that your number one dream, having your mom in your life, inspired and propelled you to go after every dream you had and THAT is the truth. For the next ten years Jess, you will cry, laugh, mourn, dream, achieve, accomplish, grow and fall in love with the one person you see every day…YOU.
You will fall in love with yourself Jessica and THAT alone will give you wings to fly…just like the butterfly that you will become…
I love you little 18 year old Jess. Go out there and show the world what you’ve got!
See you in ten years💋✌🏼