It seems too good to be true and it feels as though I am living in a dream each day since we have been together. I feel like you deserve a revised version of my last post and a post written to you, Momma, now that we are together at last.
480 days of loving you. 480 days of telling you how much I love you and hearing it from you too. 480 days I have been freed of the wonder. 480 days of being able to soak up your love the way my heart so deeply needed, because as I have told you so many times before…I have always needed your love, but I have always felt your love. I felt it every single day of my life and that is a promise.
I know I tell you this all the time, but we are the lucky ones.
I say it every single day and wonder how I got so lucky to have you as my mom, but every word, facial expression, reaction and mannerism reminds me that each time I pictured you in my mind or wondered what you would be like, in my heart I felt you would be just just like me…and I was right. I am a carbon copy of you in every way and I couldn’t be more proud to be your daughter.
You passed along so many of your wonderful traits to me. You gave me your funny sense of humor and charismatic personality that lights up a room. You gave me your creativity and incredible imagination that carried from my childhood to adulthood. You gave me your kind and loving heart that is filled with so much compassion and understanding for others, which is one thing I love most about you and me. One thing that you gave me, that cannot go without being said, is your unbelievable, undeniable strength. Every single day you give me strength and model what it means to be strong. I know when I need strength, my little “momma light switch” goes off and I kick my strength into high gear.
Because you truly are my strength and I hope you always know just how much your support means to me.
In such a short amount of time you have learned when I need a little extra love and care and when I need a push to propel forward. You have learned when I need you to step up for me and when I need a voice of reason. You never diminish how I feel and you always rationalize my irrational thoughts. You are always honest with me, but always keep my feelings at the forefront.
That’s a mom. That’s what mommas do and that is what you have always done for me.
Few people will be able to relate to me while reading this and I continue to catch myself while writing this that we only have 16 months under our belt, but the truth is that we picked up right where we left off (which is odd because I was only a baby). The funny and ironic thing about you and me is that time has never played a role in our relationship, it has never been a factor. It has never held us back from expressing our feelings. It feels as though we have always been us, exactly how we are now, which reminds me how wonderful God is.
Because this was Him. All of this was Him. He made you for me and me for you and I believe this with my whole heart. I don’t know why we had to spend time apart. I don’t know why things happened the way they did, but the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that I have somehow in this crazy world we live in, I found my way straight back to you.
I believe in my heart of hearts that things were somehow suppose to happen this way so I can say I know what it is to wait to find love, because that is what I did…I waited to find your love. I think the love I have been searching for all my life was unlike my friends and the people around me. I know for a fact that my heart was in desperation of your sweet hugs, goodnights and tons of kisses. I know my heart missed and longed for you since the last moment I was in your arms, but somehow God continued our story.
He heard my cry and he also heard yours because I know how agonizing these years have been for you. I know how hard you searched for me. I know how many times you tried to get me back. I know you tried and all I continue to tell myself daily is that I know you tried. I know how much you loved me, missed me, longed for me and wanted me, which is all I ever wanted to know.
I’m thankful you made my heart and are now able to fill it with so much love each and every day, because you truly are my ray of sunshine and bring so much goodness to my life. I hope each and every day you know just how important and loved you are by me, your little girl, who may be all grown up, but still needs her momma and always has.
As we always say, “We are together now forever and always- you+me.”
I love you momma…from the center of my heart.
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