Can you believe that I just started believing this? No guys, I’m serious. For a long time, I put so much emphasis on what others thought of me, so much so, I lost sight of what I thought of me. I came in hot with it only being your third sentence in, didn’t I? Stay with me.
In my opinion, Social media has not helped us shift this mindset. I believe it has actually caused us to regress any progress made. Would you agree? Society has made us believe that we have to live up to this idea of looking the best, doing the most and having it all INSTEAD of looking OUR best, doing the most we can and having everything we need and worked for.
For the vast majority of my life, I will be honest and say that I believed what others thought of me mattered most. I use to say things like, “I don’t want XYZ to think less of me if I do XYZ.” WHO CARES WHAT KAREN THINKS, RIGHT? I wouldn’t leave my house without makeup, because “Looking my best” and covering up my blackheads apparently meant that I “had it all together,” WRONG-O! I even went as far as believing that ironed clothes and fixed hair somehow made people think I was worthy and going places? WHAT THE?
Are you reading what I just wrote? I am rereading this now wondering how I in the world I allowed myself to live like this. Disclaimer, it must be said, I DO like to get dressed up and wear makeup on occasion and it’s okay if you do too!
The mindset you have when doing these things is where the topic for this blog post comes from.
Sadly, I missed out on going places and making memories because I didn’t want people to think less of me. I put on makeup to make it look like I had it all together. Little did those that loved me most know, that girl under all of the concealer, liquid base and wonky eyeshadow was hurting. She was hurting in a way no one could understand. I absolutely used my cover up to cover up more than just a couple pimples and blackheads. Don’t even get me started on the ironed clothes! That hot piece of metal just makes me laugh because I haven’t used one of those things in years! I have gone places, experienced things and have made a name for myself never once plugging that thing in!
You know what matters? You know what truly matters? Doing all the things that make you happy! You know what also matters? Showing your feelings and never covering up how you feel, so those who love you most can see you for who you really and help you when you look like you need it.
What is my definition of perfect? Living authentically and being exactly who I am, even if I wear wrinkled clothes, forget to brush my hair and run out of the house makeup-free.
I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this, but what matters most is what YOU think of YOU! I had to do some soul searching, go through the hardest time of my life and figure out who I was to learn this and do you know what I’ve concluded? It shouldn’t have taken this long.
Parents to little ones, teachers in any capacity and every one of you reading this, I hope you implement this message in your homes and classrooms. I pray you make this your mantra so all of those learning from you, big or little, know that what matters most is what WE think of OURSELVES.
In my Bob Marley voice, “This is my message to you!”