Let me begin by saying that I have given up the keys and handed them over to the big man upstairs…God!
I can tell you right now that everything you are about to read from here on out is true and has happened to me personally.
I couldn’t do it anymore.
I found I spent more of my life drained rather than happy. Why? I was exhausting myself each day working so hard on being in control of every. single. aspect of my life.
Now, I ask myself, “Why Jessica Evans? Why did you do this to yourself!?”
I have no shame admitting I am a work in progress. I have been working through some major set backs, but I’m here as an advocate for those of you who may be in the same boat.
Remember when you were a kid and you would slide down those great big slides at recess, the ones that spiral down? Raise your hand if you ever got so caught up in the fun, you lost control and your face planted the rocks at the bottom…guilty!
Moving on, raise your hand if you recall getting stuck mid slide, in the curve! In south Louisiana this is because #humidity. Odd analogy, but this is how I felt every day…totally stuck when my life should be going smoothly.
The ride should be easier than what I was dealing with.
I was so anxious every. single. day and if you have anxiety, you know that feeling I am talking about. The feeling of uncertainty that makes it itself right at home in the center of your mind. You can’t focus and your mind races day and night.
I was tired emotionally, physically, and I was tired of feeling this way.
This story turns brighter right about now.
In the midst of the chaos, I would go for walks around Nicholls’ campus every afternoon. Ironically, I would pass the Two Hearts Adoration chapel every day, which was still under construction.
As I watched this place being built, I felt something. I felt as though this place was going to do great things for me.
I felt that this place was going to relinquish me of what I was feeling…and I was right and It happened right when I needed it most!
It happened slowly and gradually and the emotions that came with it rocked my world in the best way possible!
You see, God was calling on me because he knew I was ready to embark on a journey, one so life-changing, I could not possibly get through it alone.
Along the way, He taught me that each day is a journey. Each moment of my life is not possible without His presence.
After all, He knows me. He created me!
He knows that I stress about things WELL before they happen. He knows that I stay up late most nights worrying about things I have NO control over. He knows when He is in the driver’s seat, I’m sitting behind him trying to do things “better” or “my way.”
The truth is that His way is THE only way! His way is MY way!
It wasn’t until recently that I sat back and analyzed His hand in my life and as I put the story together, it genuinely took my breath away.
Want to know a secret? God has it all figured out already!
He knows what will happen in my life tomorrow, next week and next year. He knows what is best for me so why am I fighting His plan? Why am I fighting Him?
Because…this is what mortals do. We analyze and scheme to make things go our way. When they do, go our way, we are jumping for joy and when they do not, we mope, cry and plead with God to change it.
All the while He is behind the curtain saying, “But you do not know what I have in store for you.”
Disclaimer: The way He takes control will more than likely NOT be the way you expect it. There will be bumps and you will have to take a teaspoon of patience each day to get through it.
But, He takes care of you. I promise and I am living proof!
So I’m writing this for those of you who need to hear this. Recently, I was you who NEEDED TO HEAR THIS! Trust me when I say, Let go and let God freaking rock your world because there is no feeling like an answered prayer!
Big man, thanks for having this girl’s back.