Two words that I use most often..“I’m sorry.”
I say “I’m sorry” for everything. I’m not kidding. If you have talked to me in 26 years, you know this is true.
Of course, I say I’m sorry when I am actually sorry for doing something wrong, but I say I’m sorry when I don’t have to (more times than not).
I think we all do this at times and use the words “I’m sorry” even when we don’t have to be, but this post goes far beyond these two words.
Unapologetically- That’s a long, interesting word that rolls off the tongue quite nicely.
I’m going to be honest with you all….
I have been feeling so much guilt lately for putting myself and my happiness first.
I have been battling guilt for quite some time and more recently I have stopped to ask myself why.
Somewhere between the months of May and October, I have really tried to take more time to do things that make me happy with people who make me happy.
I have spent about 26 and a half (ish) years doing things I did not want to do because I felt like I had to. I have spent time with people who do not make me happy or bring goodness to my life and to be truthful, I was totally over it.
I have given my all to people who over time have shown me that I am not a priority on their list and you know what….that’s okay!
Because the bottom line is this, we have to start living our life by making ourselves happy first.
I know you are reading this thinking, “Gosh! This girl is merciless!”
Please, hear me out….
If we spend SO much time catering to things that do not make us happy….why are we doing it?
Because we don’t want to let anyone down.
If we spend SO much time trying to make friendships last that remain stagnant? Why are we wasting our time?
Because we are trying to make what little we have left of this friendship last.
If we give our all to a task we are not passionate about….what’s the point in doing it?
Because we aren’t quitters and we can’t say NO to anything because we are motivated.
Am I right? Sound familiar?
Okay, now let’s reassess and take a moment to be honest with ourself.
I’m asking you to be totally honest not for me, but for yourself.
I’m talking to you who spends so much time fixated on completing tasks that do not make you happy.
The truth is, you are afraid of being judged.
I can see you now. It’s almost time for your family’s annual Christmas gathering. You would rather eat an entire fruitcake (alone) than have to sit through another forced Christmas gathering where the Christmas ham can be cut with tension.
So why do we go? Because our moms make us and that’s truly the only reason why.
I’m talking to you with the life long bestie you have never felt more distant from. You are clinging on to every movie night and slumber party you had in the past because those memories keep your friendship alive.
So what do we do? We continue to exhaust our emotions trying to understand how best-friendship has become work.
I’m talking to you who has trouble using the word “No”.
I want you to say this…right now.
Now how does that taste?
Again, we are afraid of judgement. We are often so afraid to hurt anyone and offend anyone that we are willing to put our sanity on the line so our reputation remains afloat.
So what do we do? Continue to say yes even though our little voice inside is screaming, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I JUST WANT TO STAY HOME AND WATCH NETFLIX!”
Friends, pals, and compadres…
I’m going to be totally honest with you.
We have to unapologetically live our life and this begins with putting YOU at the top of YOUR priority list.
Selfish? Nope! Try to drive five miles on an empty tank of gas or walk the desert without a drop of water.
It simply can’t be done.
Will you feel guilt? Of course you will. You’re human and don’t forget that, but enjoy your life and live it unapologetically.
Let the guilt take a back seat on your ride through life and just enjoy it for you and only you.
Don’t be sorry if you skip out on events you dread and replace it with going somewhere new. Go somewhere you have never gone before because it makes you happy.
The people in your life who truly love you will look at you taking time for yourself and smile. Why? Because seeing you happy is all they truly want.
The only baggage I will carry is on my next adventure with the people who want to come along my journey.
This is my (un)apology for living my best life💋✌🏼