I’m here to admit I was a carrier of the dreaded virus “caring too much about what others thought of me” and it has earned its title proudly because this is truly how I feel about this topic.
I’m here to say that I unknowingly let others’ thoughts and image of me take over my life.
Not even kidding, I was insecure about everything down to my nail polish and now that I look back, this was a time in my life when I thought that being accepted by others would make me happy.
BREAKING NEWS….IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU HAPPY!
I lost focus on what I was working towards, myself.
I let others’ view of me unknowingly control my thoughts and actions. I strived to be, act and look perfect and lost sight of being perfect in the areas of my life that counted most.
I lost focus on showing my “human” to others because I felt that girl was not good enough and not up to par with what others’ expected of me.
Because who in their right mind would accept a girl who has held herself together some days with the tape she found in her drawer and has concealed every emotion she was feeling with liquid foundation and a nice shade of pink lipgloss?
I have no shame saying I have fallen victim to painting the perfect picture. We have all done it in some form or fashion.
We spend SO much time editing the perfect photo all while sitting in our bathtubs, run down, tired, surviving off of dry shampoo, prayers, and cold brew. (You’re probably nodding your head reading this in your bathtub right now trying to get 5 minutes of quiet and relaxation after a long day).
You know it’s true. I’m here with both of my hands raised in the air saying I have done this too.🙌🏼
Why do we do this? Because we want people to like us and we think that creating the perfect photos, throwing the perfect birthday party, buying the best clothes, makeup and shoes will do this for us.
Sadly, it won’t and deep down you know this and I know it too, but we continue to put so much emphasis on convincing others we are enough through material items and sharing fictitious versions of ourselves.
Imagine what would happen to us if we channeled our time editing ourselves internally rather than externally and spent more time sharing that person with the world.
I think we’d be surprised by how easy life would be.
Social media has forced us to lead two lives, one that is reality and one that is virtual. We have been forced to think that others hitting the “like” or “love” button on our photos or posts actually brings significant meaning to our life.
It doesn’t and I know this. We all know this.
The truth is, I have pimples. I do not like to wear makeup and my goal in life is to be bare-faced. I have dark circles under my eyes and some of my best memories are spent outdoors, barefoot, sweaty and wearing a baseball cap. My teeth are stained by coffee because caffeine is #mylife and my idea of living my best life is in my robe and slippers with my hair in a messy bun.
For a long time, I prayed to care less about what others thought of me. I’m as serious as a heart attack when I say I spent a solid 5 years praying for this.
There was no exact moment or “ah ha” moment where I began to care less about what others thought of me. It was something that happened gradually and naturally. As I get older, I find myself caring less about if others love me and I care more about loving myself for exactly who I am.
I have to wake up each day with the mindset that I will be the very best version of myself and that comes with a whole lot of “OOPS, WHOOPS, and other adult words that I’ll leave out of this.”
This starts with accepting that everyone will not like me and there is nothing I can do to change that.
This starts with acknowledging that I am flawed in more ways than not and I’ll embrace every hiccup. Why? How else am I suppose to learn?
This starts with being honest with myself that my only critic is God and when the outside world tells me differently, God is right behind me guiding my redirecting me on my path.
This starts with spending more time focusing on being my best me, for me and only me.
Why? Time is precious, y’all. We have GOT to focus more on loving ourselves. As the saying goes, “Like moths, good people are attracted to flame and to light and they will come.”